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Bitter Roots are often the Wellspring of Conflict
an article by Tessie NM Belue
“Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many become defiled.” (Heb. 12:14-15, NRSV)
The Bitter Roots Center for Conflict Resolution opened this year with the intent to handle mediation and conflict resolution cases. After five years of completing mediation certificates in basic, cultural competence, transformative, workplace, domestic abuse and divorce and child custody, it is time to open my own part-time practice. All of this wisdom, experience and education is wasting. Never, have I been so frustrated as seeking to do this work in this place.
Bitter Roots Center of Conflict Resolution is an experiment and like most experiential social entrepreneurs, I believe that this work is holy. I believe that bitter roots underlie many conflicts that arise among people: world nations, ethnic groups, women and men, workers, volunteers and children because of unresolved anger about things over which they may see themselves impotent to change. These wounded feelings, as long as they remain below the surface, will stay dominant unless some stressful event triggers them. For this reason, I advocate the creation of opportunities for people to work through these conflict-creating issues at the conflict table.
School children often vent their enraged feelings of impotency in a violent fashion. Therefore, all schools should have conflict training and mediation programs in place to permit students an opportunity to mediate. Teachers that spend most of their time monitoring student behavior should love the opportunity to refer conflicts between students to an independent, impartial forum composed of trained student peace makers where the conditions of their return to the classroom are based upon their participation in conflict resolution. Teachers could teach.
As I began my peace work as a mediator, the challenge becomes how to gain a reputation. Fighting/war has been a traditional way of resolving conflict. I have sat through hours of mediation trainings and the message that resonates loudly and clearly is: “volunteer.” While volunteering for the Franklin County Mediation Services, I have co-mediated several juvenile victim-offender mediations between high school students that the court has offered the option of mediation or receiving punishment. In almost every case, all the disputes arose from violence: fighting.
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DISCUSSION
Question(s) related to this article:
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The need for more training has encouraged us to offer study and training material on our website. It is easy to access and COST FREE. The Conflict Resolution Network presents a 12 skills approach so that you can run your problem - the conflict that you are addressing - past our list of skills.
Of course it takes time and patience to work through the material but we hope you will find it worthwhile. You can do this alone or form a study or seminar group. We encourage you to print out relevant training material and share it with others.
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Start with the shorter pieces:
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If possible, spend a few days thinking and talking about the above material. . ...more.
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